By Danielle Ohl and Patrick Basler

In case you missed it, Drake dropped an album earlier this month. One standout of Views‘ 20-song tracklist is the high-energy “Child’s Play.” But the song has gained notoriety recently not for its production or beat but rather its bizarre lyrics. On the track, Drake describes the complexities of a relationship, including an awkward trip to The Cheesecake Factory. “Why you gotta fight with me at Cheesecake/You know I love to go there” the icon raps.

No one really knows what inspired Drizzy to give these details to the world. We are limited instead to simply wondering about what goes on in Champagne Papi’s head. This story is a result of that wondering. The following scene is what we imagine happened that fateful night at Cheesecake.

5 p.m., The 6

“I want to go somewhere fancy tonight, Drake,” a gorgeous woman told the rapper as he pulled on another oversized sweater.

“Hmm…” Drake pretended to think. “How about… The Cheesecake Factory?”

“The Cheesecake Factory?” she scoffed.

“You know I love to go there!” Drake grinned.

“Well can we at least go to one at the mall? I need a new outfit,” the woman asked.

“Bounce that s— like woah,” Drake replied, knowing very well that it was not the appropriate time for the phrase.

5:30 p.m., A shopping mall in The 6

“So, you’ll get me any outfit I want, Aubrey?” the rapper’s girl of the moment questioned as they strolled through the mall.

Drake was about to respond when he remembered he was holding an uneaten soft pretzel he had purchased with a $100 bill just minutes earlier.

“Girl, that’s just some child’s play,” he said as he shoved a hunk of pretzel in his mouth, looking very much like a child in a hand-me-down sweater. “Ooh, a Gap!” he blurted, spraying coarse pretzel salt everywhere.

The pair walked into The Gap, where a family, the kind that drives Camrys and goes to Disney, was discussing their dinner plans for the evening.

“I don’t know, where do you want to go?” the mother said. “I think there’s a Cheeseca–”

Drake couldn’t help himself. He interrupted the intimate conversation and blurted, “You know I love to go there!”

Clearly shaken, the family backed away from Graham’s cable knit-clad frame and hustled out of the store, never to be seen again.

The woman sighed. “Can you at least get me some Chanel or Louis?” she asked the rapper.

“Do they sell it at The Gap?” Drake replied as he thumbed through a rack of clearance sweaters, not noticing his girl walk out of the store as he talked.

6 p.m., The Cheesecake Factory

“Look, babe, I’m sorry I embarrassed you earlier,” Aubrey apologized. “But can we still have a nice evening out on the town?”

His date glared at him. “At The Cheesecake Factory?”

“You know I love to go there!” Drake exploded.

A waiter wandered up to the couple’s table. “Welcome to The Cheesecake Factory. I’m-“

“You know I love to go there!” Drake interrupted.

“Glad to hear it. Like I was saying, my name is Oliver and I’ll be serving you today,” the waiter continued. “Can I start you off with a drink?”

Drake’s lady thought for a minute: “I’ll have a gin-“

Drake cut her off. “Actually,” he said, closing the menu. “We’ll take everything on here.”

“Everything?!” the waiter asked in awe. “What are you, some kind of rapper?”

“Drizzy, baby,” his girl firmly explained. “I don’t think you realize how big The Cheesecake Factory’s menu is. Can you really afford all this?”

“Girl, that’s just some child’s play,” Drake said, offended.

Clearly affronted and empowered by the smell of avocado egg rolls wafting from a nearby table, the 6 God continued.

“Why you gotta fight with me at Cheesecake? You know I love to go here,” he yelled, smacking his fist on the table. “You wildin’, you super childish.”

“Oh my, is this about the Bugatti again?” his lady responding, rolling her eyes as Drake continued mansplaining her convenience store choices.

“YOU GO TO CVS FOR KOTEX,” he screamed, made manic by the mouthwatering sliders and potstickers passing his bobbling head.

“Yes,” his lady responded calmly, waving off the anxious wait staff hovering about the scene.

“IN MY BUGATTI,” he sprayed.

“Yes,” she responded while motioning for another menu. “Here, babe, look, cheesecakes.”

Awkward silence ensued, as Drake, who had relapsed into the Hotline Bling dance, head almost covered by the turtleneck of his sweater, paused and looked down. Slowly, he lowered himself back into his chair and reached for the open menu.

The whole room waited, breathless.

“I’m sorry, babe,” he murmured. “I’ll never give you back to the hood.”

“I know you won’t,” she nodded.

“It’s just…I need you inspired, I need you excited,” said Drake, eyes dancing over the dessert list. “I don’t want to fight it.”

“I know you don’t boo,” his lady responded.

She motioned for a waiter: “We’ll have one of everything.”

“Maybe this is a fairytale,” he said, smiling.