“Why are there so few pictures of me throughout my look-back video? Why is there a picture of a urinal in my look-back video?!” —Warren Zhang

Facebook has been around for 10 years and, for some reason, it’s celebrating the past — not particularly productive — decade by automatically generating look-back montages of every user’s personal Facebook history.

This whole celebration charade is weird. Celebrating 10 years of Facebook is like celebrating 10 years of masturbating daily — pretty pointless and slightly shameful. Still, out of slight curiosity mixed with a pinch of nostalgia, I navigated over to facebook.com/lookback and hit play.

The video itself isn’t impressive; it’s a slapdash, coldly robotic one-minute, two-second affair that raised a million questions the first play-through.

Why does the music sound like it belongs in the lobby of the Church of Scientology headquarters? What thoughts are you trying to subliminally implant in my brain, Mark Zuckerberg?

My look-back video is very unrealistic, too. Why does it look like I gained weight between those two pictures of– oh that actually happened. Well, why did this witty, pithy and, if I do say so myself, strikingly handsome post about Gravity only get nine likes? Why did they pick a cropped image of me flipping off the camera as my main profile picture?

Why are there so few pictures of me throughout my look-back video? Why is there a picture of a urinal in my look-back video?!

The answers started forming as whispers in the back of my mind when I hit play for the 67th time.

Maybe I’m not as clever as I think. Maybe some of my real-life social ineptitudes have crept onto my online “presence.” Maybe I’m not as outgoing as I should be. Maybe I haven’t grown as much as I had hoped when I, as a wee middle schooler, signed up for a Facebook eight years ago.

Maybe I have a weird thing for taking and sharing pictures of urinals.

My look-back video offers more questions than answers, and the answers it does deign to provide are unsatisfying half answers. I’m not quite sure what I wanted from this guilt-ridden quickie spat out by an anonymous, beep-boop computer executing arrays of ones and zeros written by some guy with a beard in California. I just know it was more than this.

But I’m not being fair. Really, all of these look-back videos are awesome in the literal sense of the term. It’s the essence of Facebook — the overwhelming banality, the crushing existential need for your opinions to be validated, the misguided photos, the regrettable selfies, the terribly passive-aggressive rants you wouldn’t dare utter in the real world — condensed into one minute and a single yes-or-no question.

Everything boils down to this: Are you popular or are you not? According to my Facebook look-back video, I’m a loser. So there. Now that I’ve gotten it out of my system, I can finally go back to doing God’s work — spamming my now-former friends with Candy Crush Saga requests and posting inane doge pictures on my wall.

Thank you, Zuckerberg. Here’s to another 10 years of this same crap.

[ READ MORE: Changing with the times: A look at how Facebook and its users have evolved ]