McRib
A large corporation made a decision this year that I’m sure is impacting the public in a huge way. No, Apple did not release an indestructible iPhone. No, Toyota did not decide to manufacture only pink cars. But McDonald’s did decide it would only be selling the McRib sandwich at select locations this year.
I know. This is big news. If you need to lie down for a minute and process this information before continuing this story, I totally understand.
The McRib is among a small family of McDonald’s food items that only appears at a select time of year. Others in this category include the Baked Holiday Pie, the Shamrock Shake and (if you happen to be in Atlantic Canada or parts of New England during the summer) the McLobster.
McDonald’s decided this year that instead of forcing each store to sell the McRib sandwich, it would allow the store owners to decide whether the McRib would be popular in the area. After hearing this, die-hard McRib fans created mcriblocator.com, an interactive map that allows users to locate the nearest McRib. Prepare yourselves, people, because I have some bad news.
After looking over the McRib locator map, I found that as of right now, only two McDonald’s in this state are selling the McRib. Yes, you read that correctly. After examining the map, I briefly considered transferring to a college in Southern California or Florida, because both of these places have high concentrations of McDonald’s restaurants that sell the McRib.
In fact, I might never go anywhere ever again without first looking at the McRib locator map because, obviously, you can only judge the quality of a locale based on how many McDonald’s restaurants are selling McRibs in that area.
After seeing the McRib locator map, I did what any concerned citizen would do: I called the nearest McDonald’s. Well, actually, I called two McDonald’s restaurants for good measure.
The people who answered the phone seemed incredibly put off by my questioning. The consensus after calling both the McDonald’s in Stamp Student Union and the McDonald’s on Route 1 was that, as far as the employees on the line knew, they wouldn’t be selling the McRib, they definitely aren’t selling it right now and they would really like the college student on the other end of the line to stop pestering them about it because they have work to do.
So I stopped pestering the poor McDonald’s employees and began pestering my fellow students. I wanted to know if anyone else had McRib-sized holes in their hearts (or actual holes in their hearts caused by eating too many McRibs — it could happen).
“I’ve never eaten a McRib, but I would consider trying it,” said Olivia Herdje, a freshman enrolled in letters and sciences. “It would never be my first choice, though.”
When asked how she felt about the McRib situation, sophomore English and music major Briana Downs laughed and replied, “I’m a vegan.”
She continued, saying that even if she wasn’t a vegan, she was sure that the McRib wouldn’t be her favorite menu item.
“I’ve never had one, and I don’t think I’m missing out much,” said Hannah Winne, a sophomore music major and another McRib nonbeliever.
As I talked to more students, I realized that McDonald’s might have made the right decision. The consensus seemed to be that people in this university community simply don’t love the McRib.
The fate of the McRib is a bit unclear right now. Will McDonald’s continue to only sell it at select locations? Will the McRib eventually die out completely? Will more state restaurants begin to sell it? I guess only time will tell.
