Winston and Jess do not make a good fake couple.
New Girl often requires viewers to suspend disbelief and accept ridiculous situations. After all, the show is built on the hijinks and hoodwinks facing the roommates. However, no episode has been as unbelievable as “Santa.” Complete with a Santa Claus disguised as a cop, fornication in a decorative sleigh and Nick’s new stripper girlfriend, the Christmas/Hanukkah episode was ridiculous to say the least.
In the wake of the Christmas season, the roommates decide to celebrate together one last time. However each has a different party they want to attend: Jess a cookie-baking get-together at Cece’s, Schmidt a posh soiree complete with an outdoor pool and Winston a party at the radio station. After a food fight involving a cranberry lodged in Winston’s ear, the four agree to compromise under two conditions – Jess is the designated driver and they leave all parties without saying goodbye.
Things start off interestingly enough – the roommates, along with Nick’s new stripper girlfriend, Angie, show up to Cece’s cookie decorating party first. There, Schmidt deems it a “lesbian cookie party” and does his best to avoid Cece. However, one couple doesn’t quite see things the same way. Angie and Nick decorate cookies together, and Angie creates a special one for Nick that suggests the two have sex.
Their plans go awry, though, as Jess realizes Sam, her ex-lover, is also at the party. To make matters worse, Winston is shouting about his earache woes to Sam in hopes of finding help. Unwilling to face Sam, Jess makes the group leave.
The next party is even more absurd. Sam follows Jess in order to tell her he wants her back, but Jess is unwilling to reconcile so easily. In fact, she pretends that Winston is her boyfriend in hopes of throwing Sam off. However, like all of Jess’s great plans, this one tanks, and fast.
Winston, after dislodging the cranberry from his ear and figuring out what has happened, pretends to break up with Jess in front of Sam by spilling beer on her coat and exclaiming, “Say goodbye to paradise honey!” With this out of his way, Sam attempts to make yet another move, which Jess, in a strong moment, denies.
Meanwhile, Cece attempts to give Schmidt a gift, which he refuses, despite her groveling. Nick and Angie are not faring much better. After a botched attempt at hooking up in a decorative sleigh, Nick is left fearful, while Angie is annoyed that he refuses to be more daring.
Eventually the gang ends up at a party at Winston’s radio show. Winston does drunken renditions of Christmas music, while Nick and Jess hash out their relationship issues.
At Jess’s prompting, Nick makes an announcement to the entire party, professing his love to Angie. But he doesn’t stop there – Nick then proceeds to give Angie a lap dance. She returns the favor, until she is interrupted by Schmidt, who believes he can do a better job.
Jess realizes she needs to let out her own feelings to Sam. After some erratic driving, a run-in with a cop who resembles Santa, Angie flashing a security guard and some fake caroling, Jess finally finds Sam at work. She apologizes and explains she wants to give him a second chance.
Tid-Bits:
–Best lap dancer is still yet to be determined: Nick, Schmidt or Angie?
-Nick will never be meant to role play.
–Zooey Deschanel is meant to sing Christmas music and only that.
–Best Schmidt-isms:
“I just want to make it with a fat elf tonight. Instead I’m stuck here at this lesbian cookie party.”
“This is my last Christian Christmas.”
diversionsdbk@gmail.com
